Change and How I've Dealt with it
Hey y’all, I’m back with another blog post. This one is very much connected to the last one, but instead of just talking about college transitioning this is just about change in general.
Published on 11/8/2021
Change is a huge thing in my life, and I have had to deal with a lot of it over the past few months , not just with college, but with life as a whole. Have you ever just been so used to thinking one thing is going to happen or another thing will never change? Have you ever thought the place where you grew up and the way you were raised was the only way it was supposed to be? A lot of that was me. Moving out was scary for me, in fact it still is. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me in a couple of years, I don’t know where I’m going to live, I don’t know the exact job I’ll have, I don’t know if I’ll be married and have kids, I know none of that. I’m a junior in college. That means I have only about a year and a half left before I need to own an apartment or live somewhere on my own. It might even happen this next summer. That also means I have to find funds (meaning at least a temporary job) to support myself in that place, potentially find roommates, probably buy a car or form of transportation, and I’m especially going to need to learn how to cook more than what I have instructions on the box for. Because even right now in college I am getting meals from the cafeteria we have on campus, and I get 14 a week so I normally don’t need to do anything in terms of cooking, plus the fact that I don’t have a kitchen in my dorm room. So most likely I’m going to go from that to having to deal with making every meal myself. That’s a change that should take weeks that literally happens instantaneously! Like yes, I can always go out to eat, but at the same time I’m also going to be fresh out of college and needing to save my money so I can afford things like rent, and going out to eat every meal will definitely not help with that. There’s always cereal I could do for ⅓ meals in the day, but the other meals I have absolutely no idea what I would want to do. I luckily have time to think about that, but not everything like that you get to think about. Like I stated earlier, some change happens instantaneously. A few years ago, my parents experienced this to a huge degree. My parents got in a car crash. The guy driving who hit them was a drunk driver who was driving on the wrong side of the road. They luckily weren’t hurt, but the drunk driver also hit another car who had a lady critically injured, then passed away a week later. That wasn’t just change for that lady, it was the end. She was probably just on her way home from something or other and had a lot of upcoming plans for the weeks and months ahead. But she didn’t get any of that because of what happened. And think about that drunk driver! Yes, he was drunk, but he probably wasn't planning on being in jail the rest of his life! Unfortunately for him though, he got drunk and decided to drive, altering his entire life. Why am I telling you this story? Well, if there’s one thing the last few months has taught me, it’s that change can alter any previous plans you may have, and it can come as unexpectedly or as expectedly sometimes as you think. I have had both types happen, and both types contribute to me having a tough time in the transition phase or moving on or getting used to something that is happening. Change can be as unexpected as a broken relationship, a car crash, or getting fired from a job, and it can also be as expected as a college you’ve been planning on going to for years. But still in each, it can be difficult to respond to it when it actually is happening to you. Sometimes you don’t know how to react. Sometimes you just need to escape. It’s what I did. Multiple times even, from taking a three year break on YouTube, to the constant breaks I was taking from the LMBs when they were still around, just a little while ago when I was taking a month break from Twitch and basically the internet in general, and even taking a break from the events in your real life. But I wasn’t drained from these breaks, I was transformed, and I while when those changes were happening I thought they were the worst days of my life, I now believe that all of those things that happened were there for a reason. There was a purpose for those things to happen to move me forward in my life, not set me back. And as much as I hate to say it, change is something that’s going to happen to your lives as well (and I don’t mean the good kind!). But as much as it sucks when it happens, it’ll get better, I promise you that. When my parents had that car accident, it left us scrambling to find another car. We had other cars, but something about the car we had that got wrecked meant something more. Eventually, it worked out so that we got the exact same car but just a different color. And even after multiple cars being totaled after we got that one, we still have that new car (except it's not new anymore). It even became the car that I learned to drive with. So while that immediate change sucked, it eventually worked out that we got to have that new car. In my mind, I’m trying to think the same right now about this change in college and living on my own. Right now, I’m pretty broke, and I don't a huge plan for my life after college in terms of living. This change that is coming for me is going to be ongoing for years, most likely until I can settle down and be like my parents. That means obtaining a good job, purchasing a house, buying a car, getting married, then having kids so that they can do the same thing I’ve been experiencing all over again. But until I do any of that I gotta have those experiences myself, and all I can think about right now is those changes that are going to happen in the very near future. A year and a half is a good long while, but trust me it’s been flying by for the 20 years of my life, and it’s not going to slow down from here. So what should you take away from all this? In my experience, change isn’t something you can always plan for. As much as we all want planned change, life doesn’t work that way. Just like in baseball, it throws you more than just fastballs, but curveballs and changeups too. So sometimes instead of responding to that curveball in a way you don’t want to, take a moment and reflect on what is happening and why. New environment? Start out slow, meeting people slowly and not talking to everyone at once. It takes time, but you can find a community. I’ve been here for three months at this point and I’m still looking! Something big happened that you didn’t plan for? Know that there was a reason it happened, and try to think about the positives of it, I assure you in the long run it’ll work out! All in all, change is going to come, no matter what. The question is, are you ready for it?